All that glitters

Friday, May 4, 2012

Is this real Life?

A few obscure situations have happened to me lately that I would like to post before I forget. Think they will be funny to the outside reader...

Situation 1
[As my co-worker, Barb & I walk into Chipotle on our lunch break, we see a little boy peaking over his bench at us]
Boy: How old are you?
Me: 24, how old are you?
Boy: I'm 5. Can girls marry girls?

Barb & I give each other awkward looks and ponder how to appropriately answer this question.

Barb: Sometimes
Boy: Why only sometimes?
Me: In some states they allow it and in some states they don't
Boy: Do they allow it in this state?
Me: No
Boy: Then why are the two of you together?
Barb/I (simultaneously, flustered): We aren't married/We're friends/We're co-workers/etc.
Boy (Non-chalantly moving on, as if this was a normal conversation): Oh, ok. Are you eating your lunch here? That's my babysitter. I had chicken tacos with tomatoes.

Situation 2
Sometimes I take the bus into the city from Bolingbrook. It is pretty convenient, goes right from Bb to the loop, about as exspensive as the train & closer to my house. More ideal for napping, as they keep the lights off, and there is only 1 stop, as opposed to the train's multiple stops. But that's besides the point...

One morning, as I stepped off the bus to walk to the L, someone called my name. As they approached me, I had no idea who they were, but they were about my age. They continued, "I knew it was you, I'd recognize those legs anywhere."

As I chatted with him, he reminded me that we used to go to CCD (religious education classes) together back in elementary/middle school. Still had no idea who he was. But the moral of the story is, 10-15 years later, my legs still look exactly the same. REALLY?!?!

Situation 3
[This actually happened awhile ago & it was told to me second hand from my bro-in-law, Christ. Convo happened between him and my nephew, Wyatt, who was probably 6 or 7 at the time.]

Wyatt: I know what a sexual house is.
Christ: Uh, ok. What is it?
Wyatt: You know, like when a girl likes a girl, or a boy likes a boy.
Christ: Where did you hear this from?
Wyatt: On the radio with mom...
Christ [so confused, trying to figure out what he was talking about/what reference he heard it from]

Turns out, "sexual house" meant "homosexual" or "Home of sexual", easily morphs into "Sexual House" in Wy's mind. LOL, so good...

Kids say the darndest things... Speaking of kids-Wyatt & Travis welcomed their baby sister Georgia Mae last month. It's about time this family got a girl. I have already started to buy her lots of fun things.
Wyatt & Trav with their new sis
Georgia Mae Mattson
7 lbs., 9 oz. 19.5 in.
Born April 15, 2012